Fat People Are Happy People

So I've kicked back into weight loss mode again. This is something that I usually go through every other month. One month I don't give a fuck anymore, I'm letting it all go, who cares what I look like.. the next I find myself on the beach feeling like a whale and refusing to take my swimsuit cover-up off and it's go time again. Believe me I have tried every single diet/exercise fad known to man, but like all other things in my life they do not last and I quickly lose interest.

This time around I decided I wasn't going to spend money on my endeavours because they are always short-lived. This means gym memberships, zumba classes, body change programs, personal trainers, diet pills, pre-packaged meals are all out of the question. I also decided I wasn't going to give up either pop or beer for the safety and sanity of myself and those around me. This left me with the options of running outside in the 100 degree heat and cutting calories.

After day 1 of running I am informed that there is a serial rapist on the loose and he was recently shown on America's Most Wanted. I also learn that his first victim was taken just down the road from where I was running. Ok, Plan B. I guess this leaves me with no other option than splurging for the gym membership. At this point I believe that my ass and thighs cannot afford NOT to join. I drive to the gym feeling pretty good about my decision and highly motivated to burn some lb's. After arriving, I am told that I must sign a year's contract that cannot be broken, pay a $70 enrollment fee, a $30 maintenance fee (like my one workout session a month is going to damage your precious equipment), and a $25 monthly fee. This package does not include classes or the option to use any of the sister gyms even if you move out of state. "So would you like to sign up?" Yeah about as much as I want to get raped in the ass. Hmm guess it's back to running outside.