Sex and The City (of Clay)

Being single at 31 is great, right? Maybe if you're Carrie Bradshaw. However, if you basically live at home in a city of roughly 800 people it turns out the single life is not so glamorous. The nightlife consists of shootin the shit with the town's elders at the A&W Rootbeer stand or venturing out to the local VFW for Friday night karaoke. If you're real lucky you might make it up to the truck pulls where you could snag you a respectable out of town man.

It's not that the town hasn't raised some hard-working, upstanding individuals. It's just that they are all married, divorced, or have 10 kids with 10 different women. This is the reality that you face when you wait till later in life to settle down. It's like punishment for wanting to live and experience life to the fullest in your 20's without the responsibility of a husband and children. You didn't want to settle down? Well here are all of the other men who never wanted to settle and still don't. Take your pick. It's like a two-for-one, grown ass man child. You can acquire a man plus a child at the same time!

The best part about small town dating is that you end up dating everyone you know and when you break up they end up dating everyone YOU know. Eventually you run out of people you know that you aren't related to then you just end up dating your cousin. Or eventually you run out of people close enough to your own age that you have to start dating people from different decades. "The thing about high school girls is I keep getting older and they stay the same age."

Running into an ex in a small town is inevitable. Gas station: ex. Bank: ex. Local pub:ex. 20 year old girl's house next door: ex. Or your family is even friends with most of them, so your own back yard: ex.

You think eventually you can escape this nightmarish hell that is your love life but it keeps reappearing everywhere you go. It keeps popping up on your Facebook, SnapChat, back door, etc. Sometimes you just have to sit back and laugh at the hilarity of it all and swear to yourself you'll never date another man from this town again. Ha, yeah right.