On my first day arriving in Florida, I set out to gather supplies. It was late on a Sunday evening and my first stop was Wal-Mart. While I was waiting in line to purchase my sunblock and random toiletries, I glance over and see cartloads of alcoholic beverages. "Wait a minute, it's Sunday!", I exclaim. "Excuse me?" "Are you allowed to purchase alcohol today?", I ask the clerk. Clerk: "Well yeah, why wouldn't you?", she replies. I already know I'm going to like this place.
This new discovery leads me to the liquor store directly down the street where I pull in next to a girl hurling her guts up in the parking lot. The sight of this determined young woman emptying her stomach in an attempt to make room for the alcohol she's about to purchase shows me these people mean business.
Reasons why the grass is greener in South Florida.. for all those who have inquired
1. My complexion ROCKS
2. My hair is naturally blonde
3. Every bar has Happy Hour
4. I can buy beer on Sundays
5. I am introduced to new music when it's actually released
6. I do not have to travel an hour to eat at a good restaurant
7. There is a BEACH!
8. There is no income tax
9. The Goodwill offers nicer labels than Honey Creek Mall
10. The majority of the population is not addicted to meth
11. They have Chick-Fil-A's
12. Fresh fruit and vegetables are affordable!
13. The nicest car on the road isn't a Ford Mustang
14. They celebrate Wednesdays- Happy Hump Day!
15. I can order a martini without feeling like a prude
No comments:
Post a Comment